WATERFRONT LEISURE CENTRE
30 Woolwich High St
London SE18 6DL
020 8317 5000
Added value: there is water here
Negative points: not very nice water.
Take: children. And fruit.
Yes, indeed, there is water here. It’s a ‘water park’, after all, and you should stick with whatever image that instantly conjures up. This is the kind of place I visit to prove to my children I’M A FUN PERSON not a miserable old bag, which always backfires because, being the antithesis of everything I like, it is guaranteed to turn me into a miserable old bag. Why does that lesson remain unlearned?
If you’ve been on holiday in this country and it’s rained the whole time, and you have children to entertain, you, like me, will have been to a similar hangar. You drive past every day thinking ‘please don’t let us be so bored we accidentally go here. Please let the sun come out. Please save me from the Fun Palace’. You promise the kids you will DEFINITELY go there one day, and then try every possible option to avoid it - including, in our case, a Museum of Salt. It’s where I find myself staring into the eyes of other adults trying to communicate non-verbally – can we bond in our dislike of this place? But no one ever seems to hate it as much as me, not even the mum busy slapping her son for floating face-down pretending to be dead.